Expressions
If you have zero Japanese study these may not be useful right away, but if you’ve ever studied in a classroom or from a textbook, you may find these useful.
ありません → ないです
You probably learned in your Japanese class that the polite way to say that you don’t have something is ありません. This is true, but in reality it sounds much more formal than you probably realize and can make you sound cold and distant. It’s much more natural to say ないです instead.
Many textbooks note this construction, but don’t go into it very deeply, or even worse, say that it’s “improper.” This may have been the case twenty years ago, but it has become common to the point of ubiquity in today’s Japan. While it’s true that ありません is the most polite and proper way to speak, in all but the most formal settings you are better served by ないです. This is because ありません is so formal and proper, that it sounds unnatural and lends a sense of “duty” or “service” to interactions, as though you are a server in a restaurant. As a general rule: if you’re giving a prepared statement, or speaking to someone of the highest rank in a building (your school principal, for example), use ありません; otherwise go with ないです.
A point about other verbs: this pattern can be used with any verb, but using 〜ません is more common and doesn’t have the same feeling of formality that ありません does. This means たべません and たべないです are both fine, but the former will sound more natural, the latter sounds like you forgot to be polite and added です as an afterthought.
Many textbooks note this construction, but don’t go into it very deeply, or even worse, say that it’s “improper.” This may have been the case twenty years ago, but it has become common to the point of ubiquity in today’s Japan. While it’s true that ありません is the most polite and proper way to speak, in all but the most formal settings you are better served by ないです. This is because ありません is so formal and proper, that it sounds unnatural and lends a sense of “duty” or “service” to interactions, as though you are a server in a restaurant. As a general rule: if you’re giving a prepared statement, or speaking to someone of the highest rank in a building (your school principal, for example), use ありません; otherwise go with ないです.
A point about other verbs: this pattern can be used with any verb, but using 〜ません is more common and doesn’t have the same feeling of formality that ありません does. This means たべません and たべないです are both fine, but the former will sound more natural, the latter sounds like you forgot to be polite and added です as an afterthought.
申し訳ないですが
もうしわけないですが
You were probably introduced to the phrase もうしわけありません in your textbook, and know that it’s an extremely formal apology which literally means “there is no excuse for [x].” In practice, it’s not nearly as dramatic as it sounds - although again you should get used to もうしわけないです in order to tone down the stiffness. This should be your go-to apology when speaking to anyone of a higher rank than you, or any time that you want to come across as particularly ingratiating.
Furthermore, if you have something difficult to discuss, or you have some pressing business, it’s often appropriate to put it at the start of a conversation – especially with superiors. 教科書(きょうかしょ)を忘(わすれ)れました、すみません is fine, but 申(もう)し訳(わけ)ないですが、教科書(きょうかしょ)を忘(わすれ)れました is much better. It’s a small thing, but it really helps to put people at ease, as it makes clear that you’re expressing regret and sets the tone for the conversation from there out. Many learners are strangely put off of using this expression because when directly translated it sounds incredibly severe, and like you are accepting any and all blame - in reality it really can be nothing more than “I’m really sorry but (could you take a minute to look at this letter?)”
Furthermore, if you have something difficult to discuss, or you have some pressing business, it’s often appropriate to put it at the start of a conversation – especially with superiors. 教科書(きょうかしょ)を忘(わすれ)れました、すみません is fine, but 申(もう)し訳(わけ)ないですが、教科書(きょうかしょ)を忘(わすれ)れました is much better. It’s a small thing, but it really helps to put people at ease, as it makes clear that you’re expressing regret and sets the tone for the conversation from there out. Many learners are strangely put off of using this expression because when directly translated it sounds incredibly severe, and like you are accepting any and all blame - in reality it really can be nothing more than “I’m really sorry but (could you take a minute to look at this letter?)”
Trailing が・けど
This is introduced in most elementary textbooks, but I don’t think people appreciate its usefulness. The beauty of the trailing が is that it takes the pressure off of your own understanding of the language, and instead trusts the person you’re speaking to to “fill in the blanks.” Instead of putting together a long sentence explaining what needs to be done, you simply outline the problem situation or the desired end result and stick a trailing が on the end. This can be used when shopping (ニンテンドースイッチを買(か)いたいですが…), when looking for a place (スシローに向(む)かっていますが…), or when you break something at school (プリンターがけむりを出(だ)していますが…).
Choosing the right request form:
しなさい、してください、してくれませんか、してもらえませんか
There are several ways to ask or tell someone to do something in Japanese, just as there are in English. These are the four most common, in roughly descending orders of softness/politeness. You’re probably pretty familiar with してください, as it’s usually one of the first phrases taught in elementary Japanese courses. We’ll look at the other three in ascending order of politeness/softness.
しなさい is the most forceful and authoritative way to tell someone to do something. Just like してください, it’s a statement, but it has a lot more authority and power baked into it. Never use this with anyone who is equal to or above you on the totem pole. Be careful using it with people lower than you. Just about the only time it’s appropriate to use is when you personally are appointed as being in charge of another person, such as a parent speaking to their child or a teacher speaking to their student. To form statements using なさい you use the ます-stem, not the て-form.
ちゃんと書(か)きなさい。 - Write it properly!
答(こた)えなさい。- Answer the question!
してくれませんか should be your go-to phrase when asking for something to be done on your behalf, when speaking politely with equals or superiors. It’s a negative conjugation, but don’t let that throw you off - it’s asking them to do the verb, for you. This phrase is great for beginners, because it plugs into verbs exactly the same as ください does.
みてください。 - Please look at this.
みてくれませんか。 - Wouldn’t you please look at this for me?
The reason that this is preferred to してください is that it gives the listener a bit more wiggle room to respond. してください is fairly firm - it’s a statement, not a question - and so the listener feels a strong expectation to respond with a simple はい. してくれませんか is a question, and a soft one at that. It leaves them with space to say すみません、ちょっと忙(いそが)しいです or あら、水口(みぞぐち)先生(せんせい)を聞(き)いたほうがいいと思(おも)います.
The only thing to be careful of, is that this sort of comes off as asking the person to do you a favor. As such you shouldn’t use it with anyone who is distinctly lower than you, particularly when it’s something they are expected to do, as it comes off as very strange. You will rarely hear a teacher ask a student 問題(もんだい)を答(こた)えてくれませんか unless speaking to a special needs student or a student with whom they have an especially prickly relationship.
Lastly, there’s してもらえませんか. This is potentially the most polite way to ask for something of the methods discussed today – of course there are keigo forms that are much more polite but that’s another topic. The main positive of してもらえませんか is that unlike してくれませんか it makes no assumption that the person you are speaking to is the person who will help you – it implicitly tells them that it’s okay to pawn your problem off onto someone else as long as it gets solved. This makes it great to use on people higher up the chain, as they’re quite likely to be busy themselves, but probably know who can address your problem. In general, if you really want the person you’re speaking to to help you or expect that they are able to do so, use してくれませんか; if you really want to make sure something gets done, and don’t mind being sent to someone else, use してもらいませんか.
しなさい is the most forceful and authoritative way to tell someone to do something. Just like してください, it’s a statement, but it has a lot more authority and power baked into it. Never use this with anyone who is equal to or above you on the totem pole. Be careful using it with people lower than you. Just about the only time it’s appropriate to use is when you personally are appointed as being in charge of another person, such as a parent speaking to their child or a teacher speaking to their student. To form statements using なさい you use the ます-stem, not the て-form.
ちゃんと書(か)きなさい。 - Write it properly!
答(こた)えなさい。- Answer the question!
してくれませんか should be your go-to phrase when asking for something to be done on your behalf, when speaking politely with equals or superiors. It’s a negative conjugation, but don’t let that throw you off - it’s asking them to do the verb, for you. This phrase is great for beginners, because it plugs into verbs exactly the same as ください does.
みてください。 - Please look at this.
みてくれませんか。 - Wouldn’t you please look at this for me?
The reason that this is preferred to してください is that it gives the listener a bit more wiggle room to respond. してください is fairly firm - it’s a statement, not a question - and so the listener feels a strong expectation to respond with a simple はい. してくれませんか is a question, and a soft one at that. It leaves them with space to say すみません、ちょっと忙(いそが)しいです or あら、水口(みぞぐち)先生(せんせい)を聞(き)いたほうがいいと思(おも)います.
The only thing to be careful of, is that this sort of comes off as asking the person to do you a favor. As such you shouldn’t use it with anyone who is distinctly lower than you, particularly when it’s something they are expected to do, as it comes off as very strange. You will rarely hear a teacher ask a student 問題(もんだい)を答(こた)えてくれませんか unless speaking to a special needs student or a student with whom they have an especially prickly relationship.
Lastly, there’s してもらえませんか. This is potentially the most polite way to ask for something of the methods discussed today – of course there are keigo forms that are much more polite but that’s another topic. The main positive of してもらえませんか is that unlike してくれませんか it makes no assumption that the person you are speaking to is the person who will help you – it implicitly tells them that it’s okay to pawn your problem off onto someone else as long as it gets solved. This makes it great to use on people higher up the chain, as they’re quite likely to be busy themselves, but probably know who can address your problem. In general, if you really want the person you’re speaking to to help you or expect that they are able to do so, use してくれませんか; if you really want to make sure something gets done, and don’t mind being sent to someone else, use してもらいませんか.